The thought of another woman entering your co-parenting relationship can be a scary one for moms. While no co-parenting relationship is the same, Lindsey from Mothersun and the Captain has lent us some inspiring knowledge about the handling of these new relationships as a single mom and it is too good not to share. Make sure to follow Lindsey on Instagram @mothersunandthecaptain (she is so inspiring!) and check out her website here.
- You want the new girlfriend to be on your team. Think of it as an ally ship so that you know she has your kids’ backs when you are not around.
- Most likely she will already be a bit intimidated by you. Your confidence is key to establishing yourself as Mama Lion. Let your confidence and kindness shine when she is around and she will know you deserve her respect.
- Be nice. You don’t want more drama than you have already been in. If you are nice, you have a greater chance that she will be nice back. Let her feel welcomed.
- The best new girlfriends to men with kids are the ones who understand her job is to never try to replace or be Mom. Same with when a man comes in, too. Let the kids know that the partner will never replace mom or dad, and that having an extra co-parent is fun. Having a dad AND a step-dad or mom AND a step-mom is so lucky!
- Co-parenting is true teamwork. So, it’s important that the people who are around the kids the most are working together. The healthy way to look at it is the other woman is a part of your team with raising your kids. This can be a hard one for sure. This works best when everyone is nice and acts maturely.
- Keep the kids out of any drama that may arise amongst co-parents. This should actually be number one.
- If you have a really bad relationship with your ex, communicating with the girlfriend may be way more smoother than communicating with a volatile ex. I personally have had a much better experience co-parenting with the girlfriend than co-parenting with my actual co-parent.
- It can be better when a girlfriend is in the picture if your co-parent is not clean, organized, or domestic. Having a feminine presence and keeping a household less bachelor-esque is a plus!
- Your kids are going to spend a lot of time talking about the girlfriend and their activities with her. Bite your lip, put a big smile on your face, and show your kids you support them and that they can talk to you about any of these things.
The attorneys at Drury Pullen, A Professional Law Corporation are available to assist you with your family law needs during these challenging times. Feel free to call us 24/7 at (805) 879-7523 and leave a message if you do not reach a live person. Calls will be returned as they are received. You are also welcome to contact us via the Contact Us page on our website. We remain available to our clients and community with remote services such as court filings, negotiations, mediation and emergency services. Please follow us on Instagram @CaliforniaDivorce and come back to this blog for more information.