Santa Barbara Divorce Attorney & Family Law Lawyer

QUESTIONS? CALL US.

(805) 879-7523

The Three-Question Rule For Emotional Intelligence

May 28, 2021 | Feel Good Friday

Emotional intelligence (EI or EQ) is marked by a person’s ability to recognize and understand emotions (both his or her own and those of others), and to use that information to guide decision making. It includes demonstrating complex qualities such as empathy, sympathy, and compassion. For many, the tendency is to speak too quickly and without thinking. Correcting this tendency is easier said than done, but here’s a quick “three question rule” that will help prevent you from saying something you might regret:

  • Does this need to be said?
  • Does this need to be said by me?
  • Does this need to be said by me, now?

Let’s check out a few examples below.

Example #1:

A driver cuts you off on the road.

Does something need to be said? Nope! Move on and save that energy for better use. 

Example #2:

You get home from work and want to tell your spouse there’s been a change in plans and you have to cancel your dinner plans this weekend … until you notice they’ve had a bad day.

  • Does this need to be said? Yeah, for sure.
  • Does this need to be said by me? Definitely.
  • Does this need to be said by me, now? Nope. Better wait until they’re in a better mood and when you have a plan to make it up to them.

The next time you’re in doubt, pause and use the three-question rule!

The attorneys at Drury Pullen, A Professional Law Corporation are available to assist you with your family law needs during these challenging times.  Feel free to call us 24/7 at (805) 879-7523 and leave a message if you do not reach a live person.  Calls will be returned as they are received.  You are also welcome to contact us via the Contact Us page on our website.  We remain available to our clients and community with remote services such as court filings, negotiations, mediation and emergency services.  Please follow us on Instagram @CaliforniaDivorce and come back to this blog for more information.

Subscribe to Our Blog


 

Tips to Manage Seasonal Anxiety During COVID-19

New recommendations, mask mandates, and restrictions due to the delta variant may find a way to curb your enthusiasm as we transition into the chillier and darker months ahead. Here a few tools experts recommend to help us deal with it all. 1. Reframe how you think of...

Tips for Blended Families

This article originally appeared on the Gottman Institute’s blog. By Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart Being a parent brings so many joys and so many challenges. Parenting looks different for every person and family based on ethnicity, geographic region, and size. Being a...

Five Tips for Better Sleeping

You're not doomed to toss and turn every night! Recent studies show that smart phone addiction can lead to sleeping disorders and effect our lives in serious ways. Consider these five evidence-based tips for better sleep: Schedule timeouts. First, turn off your phone...

One-Minute Meditations

When we learn how to meditate, we are also learning how to reduce stress, calm our minds and bodies, improve our sleep quality, get along better, and feel happier. We've rounded up six ways to use breathing and movement to de-stress in just one minute. Make sure you...

Planning for Holidays During the Pandemic

Wishing you and yours a happy, healthy and safe Thanksgiving! Consider these tips for safer ways to enjoy the upcoming holiday season.  Talk about your plans ahead of time. Make your plans in advance, if possible, and tell your kids what is happening, when and why....

How to Help Children During Tough Transitions

Humans are creatures of habit. Even when change is welcome, it is known to take a toll on our energy levels. While difficulty with change can manifest in a number of ways depending on the child and the setting, we hope these tips will help pave the way for more...

Dia de los Muertos – Pan de Muertos Recipe

Dia de los Muertos, or Day of the Dead, is a Mexican holiday celebrated from October 31 to November 2. Deeply rooted in Aztec and Toltec traditions, this holiday doesn't consider death to be the end of one’s existence but simply another chapter of life. Three thousand...

8 Ways to Improve On-Screen Body Language

Body language plays a key role in effective communication. What messages are you sending during your Zoom meetings? Consider these eight tips to ensure more impactful and engaging video calls. 1. Posture Maintaining good posture commands respect and promotes...